


undone

by books_and_spite



Category: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Letters, Love Letters, Male-Female Friendship, Not A Fix-It, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pre-Canon, this is actually the only het ship i really like
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27243673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/books_and_spite/pseuds/books_and_spite
Summary: A collection of letters written by Callis of Netherwood, in the years following her escape from the Endless Woods to Gavaldon. Found by Agatha of Woods Beyond in her mother’s home in Gavaldon, nearly a year after the defeat of Japeth.
Relationships: Ambiguous or Implied Relationship(s), August Sader/Callis (School for Good and Evil), Callis & August Sader, Callis & Leonora Lesso
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi... i have absolutely no idea what this is... there's implied august sader/callis though so i like it

_day 41_

~~Dear~~ August,

I know that you are never going to read this, but I will try and pretend. Maybe you and your Sight will be able to see me. Who knows, maybe I will send this one. Maybe I’ll come ~~back to you~~ ~~home~~ back to the School for Good and Evil, and we’ll laugh over this.

Or I might not.

But it has been only two months and I miss you terribly. I never knew how much you meant to me, until this. Do you still smile as often without me? Do you still drink tea in your office and read old books until your eyes ache? ~~Like we used to? Like we did?~~

Did my leaving affect you, at all? ~~I want it to.~~ We were good friends, August Sader. I do not expect you to forget me. 

~~Don’t forget me. Please.~~

My hut in this dingy little village is not pleasant, you know. I do want to come back. ~~See you. I miss you. Why do I miss you like this? I’m a Never~~. I don’t love ~~.~~ it here. But it’s all I have right now. I’ll make do, like I always did. I’ve got Reaper. ~~Remember when we found him?~~

There are newts here. And herbs. I can make potions. I know you will snort if you ever read this. You hate potions.

This is written in your dots. I remember those. ~~How could I not?~~ We made up this language ~~, you and I.~~

You have your writings. I have my potions and my concoctions, August Sader. Stop turning up your nose at them. You never could take anything disgusting, you utter coward.

~~I miss you.~~

Dammit. 

Why did you have to look at me and want to be friends ~~, August~~? Why couldn’t you have ignored me like everyone else? That would have made things so much easier.

I hate you sometimes, you know that?

But I really don’t.

~~I just want to talk to you again. Damnit.~~

I hope that we’ll meet again someday, friend. Dear heart, isn’t that what you say? ~~I know it’s romantic, August. I know the way you look at me. I think I might look at you like that too. It started when we were kids, stayed until we were professors. Ten years. Ten years of loving you and not knowing whether it was love.~~

~~I miss you, dear heart.~~

I miss you.

 ~~Ever yours,~~ ~~Yours,~~ ~~Love,~~ Regards,

_Callis of Netherwood_

~~Your friend~~

Postscript: Stay alive for me, August. Live. ~~Be happy. That would be enough.~~

[The letter was stained with tears. Written carefully, handwriting neat.] 

* * *

Lesso,

Hello. Callis here. I don’t think you’re going to get this, but I’m writing anyway. It feels good to write.

Show less emotion, yes, I _know._

I’m not the conventional Never, you know. I might not want to be like you. I know you’re trying to help, but it really doesn’t.

Do I sound angry? I’m not angry. Just... tired.

I don’t need to fit in. I wanted to tell you. I suppose I’ll never have the chance, now. Although I think you already know.

~~I see the look in your eyes, Lesso. I can see it. Who hurt you? Is that why you’re so scared of me? For me?~~

You were my second friend at the School for Good and Evil, and one of the three friends I ever had. Three, not four. Evelyn Sader can burn for all I care. Watch out for her, Lesso. I know that you are close to her, but watch out. She’s not what she seems. There’s something off. 

Dammit. I should have told you. I hope you can feel the sentiment, Lesso. 

Don’t trust her. 

Anyway, just be careful. ~~Don’t close yourself off. I will remember you.~~

I can feel you scoffing at me all the way from the School. Honestly, it wouldn’t hurt to be less disdainful at people. Oh wait. We’re Nevers. Never mind, then. You would be the one to say “We’re Nevers”, if you were here. Where did that helpfulness from first year go?

The only thing I could ever beat you at was Uglification. You’d laugh, say that I should run away to the woods and be a stereotypical witch. I suppose that is true, now.

~~What have we done with our lives, and where did it get us?~~

I have a little cottage here, and my kitten, and my potions, and I may not be happy but I am content and I am safe.

Isn’t that enough?

No, life alone has never been enough for me. But- it can’t be changed now. 

I suppose this is saying goodbye to you, then. Farewell, my friend.

Sincerely,

_Callis of Netherwood_

Postscript: Don’t let her go, Lesso. She truly does love you.

I may not like her like you do or August does, but- you deserve happiness, Lesso. 

[The letter was torn slightly at the last line, where a quill had probably been pressed too hard into the parchment. The handwriting was messier compared to that in the first letter. Almost a scrawl.]

[It is hard, sometimes, not to pity Callis of Netherwood.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see if you can spot the two hamilton references!


	2. dilemma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a girl in this village. A girl who made a wish. Her name is Vanessa, and her wish is Evil, and not in the fairytale way, either.

_day 76_

August,

Did I ever tell you about how I got out of there? It’s not a funny story. 

You and your Sight should know, by now. How the School Master tried to court me. I never told you. ~~I was too scared to tell you. I don’t know why.~~ But he wouldn’t stop. ~~I was so scared.~~ It wasn’t safe. I couldn’t feel safe. Not when I knew what he was. I ran, and I ran, and I could hear a wish screaming for me.

It’s like Clarissa, I suppose. You set her on her path. I guess I was watching her.

I still don’t like her.

She’s too damn good for me to like her.

I want to be Good, August. I wanted to be like her. ~~I want you to look at me like I’m Good. God. I’m pathetic.~~

How is Lesso doing, I wonder? Are they together, by now? Has my departure knocked some sense into them?

And your sister. What has become of her? The four of us went straight into teaching, but she didn’t. Do you have any clue what she did after that failed quest? I believe she is off licking her wounded pride somewhere. It’s been two years since our quests officially ended.

You know I don’t like her. You know I am suspicious.

Although I suppose better a failed villain than a witch trying to be Good, no? Because-

I followed the wish. I took my way out. 

It lead me to a village. The Reader World. I know it’s important in the grand scheme of things, I saw that painting, it was disturbing and I’m a witch. August, is that really what’s in your mind all the time? Bloodshed and death? Or do you see the nice things, as well?

~~Did you ever see this?~~

Will I be important, then? The only witch here, surely that has to account for something. I will be something. I will be someone I can be proud of. I will be someone who knows how to ~~love.~~ be Good.

I just really don’t like the wish that was made. 

There was this girl. Vanessa. She wanted to get the love of the boy she loved, Stefan, but he was already in love with another girl named Honora. She wanted me to make a love potion. Not even a love potion, a drug, to get him to love her for one night, to get him to give her a child and bind himself to her forever.

It’s sick, August. Sick.

This world is not much better than ours. 

It’s been, what, two and a half months now? She’s still pestering me. I have said no on multiple occasions and she’s still pestering me. There are not enough words to express how much I want to turn her into a toad. 

Don’t worry. I won’t. Or at least I won’t get caught. But the sheer temptation.

You’d want me to be nice. I’m not a nice person, you know.

You make me look bad, Sader. ~~It’s endearing, really.~~ You make all of us look bad. 

[The parchment was ripped, almost into two pieces, here. Marks where it was mended are evident.]

I just shivered. A full-body shiver. I lost control of myself. That was frightening. 

I’m underexaggerating. I think. That was shocking. I can still feel the twitching in my hand, oh, this sucks.

 ~~I want you to be here and tell me things are going to be okay.~~ Nothing is okay. ~~Nothing is okay anymore!~~

I don’t think I can stay here much longer without granting the wish, August! I need a purpose! I have no purpose except for that.

I don’t want to.

But I can’t go back either. He will hunt me down and hurt me and kill me. And you can’t save me, August. Even if you are his favoured one. 

(What did you trade for that status? You’ve aged. You don’t look like it, not really, but you have.)

I cannot just wait for a prince, ~~for you,~~ to come save me. Witches don’t have princes. 

~~Oh, why couldn’t you have been here, August? You would know what to do. You always know what to do. Why couldn’t you have been my prince? That would have solved everything.~~

I am doing my best to survive. I have to survive. 

I will grant the wish, August. ~~I’m sorry.~~ ~~I’m sorry for everything.~~

But I value my life too much to stand by whatever morals you gave me. 

Whatever it takes. A million mistakes. ~~I told you, the day I met you, that~~ I would give up anything and everything if I could just survive. Desperation is a powerful force. And I am desperate, now. 

Farewell, ~~and forgive me,~~ and know that I miss you, ~~dear heart,~~ friend.

 ~~Yours,~~ ~~Best wishes,~~ ~~Sincerely,~~ Regards,

_Callis of Netherwood_

Postscript: I tried to make lizard soup. It didn’t turn out very well. But just because you were right one time doesn’t mean that you’re right about all my recipes, Sader. I will prove you wrong.

Maybe I’ll add more lizards? Oh. Onions! That might work, and you’d hate it because you hate onions, so I am most definitely doing that. 

Reaper is doing alright. He doesn’t like it here. ~~I don’t either.~~ I think he misses you spoiling him, and don’t pretend you didn’t, I saw you sneaking bites to him under the table. 

~~Can I say that I miss you, too? I miss how you cared. I miss how I was never, ever alone. I miss hugging you. That sounded pathetic. I miss the comfortable silence of your room and I miss being with you and taking your scarves and swapping stories and books and jokes.~~

~~What happened to this? What happened to us?~~

[The above section was barely readable, so violently was it crossed out.] 

[The letter itself was written on low-quality parchment, in a hurried hand, ink smudged where tears would have fallen, once.]

\---

Lesso,

Believe me, I am regretting ever asking you how to make that fucking drug potion and I am extremely sorry and if you can feel my sentiment, please come down here and slap me across the face or something. I deserve it. Really. 

Yes, I am very much aware that I pestered you for it until you taught me “just to shut me up” but now I am regretting every second of it and what I am going to do now, Lesso?

I met this girl, and she wants me to give her the potion to get herself a boy and steal him away from his best friend and I have to do it or I am dead, or the School Master comes to hunt me down, or I have to run, again.

I don’t want to run.

But- I don’t want to let you down. Any of you. Especially not him, you know why, Lesso, I know you know.

I can’t just do this. I cannot let go of this ideal of Good so easily.

If only you were here to tell me to get my head out of my ass and do it if I wanted to survive. Ha. I can imagine you doing that very easily. You are, perhaps, the only person I would trust to tell me to do that. Everyone else would tell me to “follow my dreams!” My dreams will end up with me dead and we both know that. 

Oh, Lesso. I really do miss you sometimes. Not all the time, because you can be a haughty, insufferable woman. But some days.

At least you’ll remain constant, my friend.

I imagine that if you ever read this you will call me weak, and pathetic, and I’d probably deserve it. [Visible ink blot.] Or maybe... maybe we’re all underestimating you, Lesso. Maybe you do care.

I know you can care, Lesso. You just don’t show it. When you think no one is looking your shell cracks and I have seen you crack before.

You are a good friend.

Doesn’t change the fact that every time you give me that Look I want to hit you with a sharp object. I am not a child. I can take care of myself.

...Okay. Maybe not. 

You’re not even here, Lesso. Why do I even try?

I miss you. I miss you, and Clarissa too, and I miss August so much it hurts, and is this going to be the rest of my life, Lesso? Writing letters that I’ll never send? Writing love letters to an imaginary ideal?

People change. You all will change. What if I’m stuck in the past forever?

I am so very scared, Lesso.

So scared.

You are the only person I trust, to take my secrets and my emotions and tell me the truth in return, to keep me honest. To keep me that graveyard girl from Netherwood who walked into the Never heiress, from, surprisingly, Jaunt Jolie, and her Ever best friend, and almost immediately insulted them both.

That girl whom you laughed at, and took under your wing, and introduced to the Sader siblings. 

You make me remember who I was. Who I am. 

August is too close to me to try. Clarissa, too much of a stranger. You and your distance and yet your care, you can do it.

I really do miss you, you know.

Goodbye, friend. Hopefully I will see you again. Perhaps in another lifetime, we could have done something more than this- this pathetic one-sided conversation.

I want you to fix this. You’ve always been able to fix things, Lesso. But I cannot expect that of you. I cannot expect you to fix whatever August and I have, I cannot expect you to face down the School Master.

I just wish I could talk to you and Clarissa and August again. And isn’t it strange, that it’s with you that I show the most weakness?

You try to help. Thank you for that. 

Well. Goodbye.

 ~~Sincerely yours,~~ Sincerely,

_Callis of Netherwood_

Postscript: If she hurts you, I will find out. And I will hurt her. 

[The letter was written on the same low-quality parchment, though with a steadier hand. The ink used was a particularly dark and sweet-smelling one. Later on, this blend was discovered to be old code for 'familial love' among Nevers who believed that they should be allowed to love.]


End file.
